by Lori Deal
'I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. You get busy living or get busy dying.” —Andy Dufresne
I can’t respond to this quote without drawing from personal life experiences.. for that’s what I know..
From the time I was young, I was told, “You can do anything in life, you can BE anything, you can go anywhere” and in my childlike mind I believed the validity of it… until I began to get older and realized that simply wasn’t true. The world around you influences and dictates your moves, your decisions, your thoughts, and your path. Suddenly, I began to see that I “could”… as long as it aligned to everyone else, and I began to become who “they” told me to be. Choice was almost non – existent, and it became a choice of “do I do what they say or do I not and suffer the consequences?”.
Unfortunately, that is the reality and norm for so many.

As we get older, we say that life gets in the way of living, we have responsibilities, obligations, possibly a spouse and/ or children, education, careers, church, ________________ (fill in the blank). And suddenly you look back at your life and wonder where it went, wonder how you got to where you are at, wonder “what if I had… instead of...” and we become resigned to the life we are in. For some, they followed their dreams (especially the ones that were allowed to dream and pursue). For others, they become a bi – product of their surroundings and merely exist but do not live. There may be really good life events along the way… children, promotions, maybe a healthy relationship (marriage OR friendship) but too often we are “busy” doing those things and “living life” gets pushed aside. Taking care of responsibilities, families, jobs, going to church, serving others are all good things and necessary in life but can that be considered /living/?

The opposite is true, when life events happen, when they overwhelm and overtake us: maybe health, relationships, pain/ suffering from other’s choices (or sin), catastrophic or life altering events that are beyond our control… things that leave us angry, bitter, numb... we are not willing to put forth the effort anymore as we think “why bother… there’s no way out, nothing will ever change or be different”
AND THEN: We.Just.QUIT.

The “get busy” concept requires effort, active participation in something, and not just being a spectator on the sidelines. Choice also requires effort and selecting between at least two options.
In the above quote: living/ dying… Often we wrap those concepts around a person (people)… “they make me feel alive... or... if they leave me I will die” and we loosely throw words around, forgetting our own responsibility to choice.

Far too long, I was in the category of getting busy dying. Somewhere along the path, I lost myself and who I was. I no longer put forth effort, the waves were pulling me under, and I had no strength to even care anymore. I adopted the motto “it is what it is” and just accepted it. That was my choice, to simply give up and allow the current to take me where it wanted, and I no longer fought… dying.

After being challenged by a dear friend to write about this quote, it really gave me pause... I look back and recognize that around ten to twelve years ago, I made the choice to get busy dying. I felt trapped, nothing would ever change, I had NO REASON to believe that life would be different, marriage was non – existent, friends were either nowhere to be found or untrustworthy, I no longer knew what to do for a career so I became resigned and just tried to keep my head above water for the sake of my kids… interestingly enough, a very tiny ember sparked when I received a call from KLOVE that I had won one of their scholarships to Colorado Christian University. Even in the midst of “dying,” there was a little hope of “living” as I began course work to become a special education teacher.

When my youngest and I became homeless just a couple of years ago, with literally our car, a few boxes of clothes and toiletry items and some pillows, I was jolted back awake. It was as if an AED had suddenly caused my heart to beat again. Out of necessity for the life of my child, I had to get it together and many events took place that started a healing journey (after 40+ years of abuse, neglect, pain, and suffering) and for the first time – EVER – in my life, I WANTED to get busy living.
I was tired of getting busy dying!!

The irony is not lost, every day of living is one step closer to dying. We try to make things so complicated and yet – it really is just a simple concept that comes down to “choice.”
“Living” doesn’t begin with a person, possessions, careers, or beliefs. Living begins with moments, with events and the everyday choices, no matter how small or big. Living happens when you choose to be your best self and take the steps to do so. Living is experiencing life WITH those that you care about and love. It’s not waiting for everything to line up perfectly and for all the past pain to be gone, it’s not waiting until everyone agrees with your choices – if we wait for all of these things, living will never take place. Living is being bold, being present in the moment and not letting moments pass you by, taking in the beauty and wonder of the world around you and glorifying God.
It’s about taking chances and being willing to say, “I’ll try one more time.”

Living is facing fears and taking leaps of faith and being willing to be uncomfortable for a time. It’s shutting out the voices of others that have no desire to see you grow, allowing in the voices that can give wise counsel and applaud your efforts. It’s being brave and saying, “Watch me!.” It’s forgiving quickly and loving others well. True “living” is HARD, it takes effort, and sometimes learning new skills. It’s jumping out of a perfectly good airplane and lighting poi on fire (round wicks made of Kevlar and connected to small chains with a leather strap to hold onto) while you spin it.  It’s finding value in the little things and then it’s speaking life into those around you. It all sounds cliché, but sometimes… that’s exactly where you need to be to get busy living.
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'I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. You get busy living or get busy dying.” —Andy Dufresne